Thanks for the Tip

This sign was spotted at an alley. It probably wasn't gonna get into this blog because it seemed pretty common-place. That was so until I did a double-take.

While it was immediately apparent through some linguistic introspection as to what the act of tipping meant, what was curious was why there was a need for options. If the sign-makers had just stopped at spelling out "DUMPING PROHIBITED", wouldn't it have been enough?

To Tip or not to Tip? Hmm...

What was of interest was the "TIPPING PROHIBITED". I thought that this word was probably gonna be more common in other places that have to do with the service sector. For example, if the culture of restaurants in Japan go by the policy of having no need for tipping, then the sign I would expect would be something semiotic like this:

Or if patrons understand English, then this:

Back to the initial sign that started this post, well, I found it puzzling that this linguistic construction made its way into a Singaporean sign and I did a Google.com.sg search for "NO TIPPING" and quite naturally, the pages yielded results that fit my initial idea of tipping in the sense of offering monetary reward. Further Google.co.in, Google.com.my searches also yielded similar results.

Thinking that it was perhaps something to do variations in Englishes in the world, I pressed on and thought of Singapore's colonial history. The next step was to do a Google.co.uk search and hey hey, what do you know, it turns out that "NO TIPPING" is used in other contexts in the UK.

Specifically it means "Not To Dump (rubbish)" or "Not To Empty (rubbish)". The following signs from an image search from Google.co.uk also prove the point that "TIPPING" is used in the crappy, I mean, rubbish, sense of the word:

In Manchester

Somewhere in London

So it seems that (some parts of) Singapore have/has retained the colonial, I mean British mentality in terms of linguistic indexicality. But given that Singapore is such an avid supporter of the US of A, we need to take into account that some dumbing down is needed, thus, "NO DUMPING" is provided as an option and immediate explanation for those who have no worldly sense of what a tipper truck is like.

There you have it below, "NO DUMPING" from an American webpage:

No thanks needed for the tip.

That's Crazy, man!

What's the perfect response when someone is yakking away while you're obviously NOT interested at all?

Of course you could use paralanguage and nod your head in agreement.

But when it calls for you to furnish a proper response that shows that you're still "in the conversation", you need to demonstrate a proper linguistic, conversational turn.


Cue one of the most recent derivatives of post-millennium speak:

"That's Crazy"

Seriously, what does it mean?
A quick check on UrbanDict gives this:

1. that's crazy

It's the perfect response when you haven't been listening at all.

It works whether the other person has been saying something funny, or sad, or infuriating, or boring....

Example:
Them: "my pet chinchilla ate some weed and killed my rottweiler last night."
You (thirsty, not paying attention): "oh man, that's crazy."

It seems like there's even a (lame) facebook group for this (lazy) linguistic invention.

The red bits are highlighted for easy reference (Click to enlarge):

So this means that you could well fake it and make it seem like you're listening when you're actually not. Synonyms would include:
"Wow." "Really!" "That's cool/nice/amazing."


We all love Americanisms don't we.
(Wow...)
They make even the most insouciant of responses seem sanguine.
(Oh, really!)
Heck, it even allows you to pass off as being a good conversationalist.
(That's amazing, man!)


But be careful, lest you end up sounding like a doofus with your blatant fibbing.
As an example (click to enlarge):



Just to satiate my hunger for more background knowledge, I decided to read up a little more on this curious but meaningless (yet highly useful *wink wink*) construction.

It turns out that "that's crazy" is a derivative from it's grandparent/parent form of "that's cool yo" or "that's cool". Some obvious links to Rap-speak is evident here, though through frequent wider usage among the street-worthy white Americans, it has become popularized among the middle-class of America.

"Crazy" happens to be a substitute for "cool" and just means that something is hip and socially accepted. To be classified as "crazy/cool" one needs to do stuff that brands him/her as popular and worthy of kudos or emulation.



So if Percy Jackson can stay underwater for 7 minutes, then the right response will be "that's crazy!"

That's crazy sound bite Logan Lerman sound bites

However, given the many derivations and deviations from the traditional usage of "crazy" and even "that's crazy" to mean something that means nothing at all, we should probably consider that Percy's friend, Grover, was just saying it without thinking. Oops.


So the next time, we hear someone boasting about their dog, I think we really could consider using this as well.

(Excited) A: "Hey! Guess what? My dog can spell out her name with her poo."

(Indifferent) You/Me: "Wow... that's crazy, man."

Get Gas

While driving around, I noticed the fuel gauge indicator was still sitting nicely astride the middle line between F and E. So I thought, it's OK. Topping up the petrol can wait another day.

Then I started thinking about why Shell and BP and SPC are all known as Petrol Stations here in Singapore (and in Malaysia).

Then it hit me that it's the centuries-old difference between British English and American English.

It's slightly different when we turn on all those American TV dramas and we hear Michael Scofield going "we need to fill up the gas" (whereas we say it's time to "top up the petrol").

While surfing around, I came across the following image:

It's easy to see why this is funny.

The parallel placement of the eating and getting makes for good smiles on that American stretch of road. If only we had such linguistic humour in squeaky-clean Singapore.

For those who aren't too familiar with that colloquial usage of "gas", it merely means, funnily and crudely, that when you eat at the diner, you'll emit flatulence (pass gas = fart).

More than laughs however, it was the "gas" that got me thinking. Why is it that the signer used "get gas" instead of "fill up on gas"? Most likely, it was to do with being financially economical.

Hey, more letters on the sign means more money paid, right? And of course, there's the bit of accidental humour.

Curiously enough, I didn't actually use terms like "gas station" in the past. It was only when I start watching more American TV dramas that I made that association and addition to my own lexical choice. There have been a few times when chatting with someone whom I know to be American, I found myself using "gas station" rather than "petrol station".

Perhaps it was to be accommodating, or maybe it was to show that I knew what the Yanks would call a petrol station.

In any case, we won't have that issue here in Singapore though, since we all merely "top up" the "petrol".

No gas for me, thank you. I'd rather keep the air clean.

In Continent Decoration

Another sign seen in Beijing.

Where do we even begin? Ok, enough ROTFL-ing.

I say, we really gotta hand it to the Chinese for their highfalutin intentions and linguistic ambitions. You couldn't even say they are trying to sound pretentious. I truly wonder what the translators were thinking. What were the criteria they set for choosing words for translation?

Could it be:

a) Only words that are 3 syllables and above in length can be considered.

b) Use your p's and q's properly. This entails "Please" in all translated signs.

c) As best as possible, sound stupid ostentatious without knowing it.

But I digress.

Forgive to be Incontinent?

Interior Decoration?

What?

Really, it should just be:

"Renovation in Progress.

Sorry for the Inconvenience Caused."

All in all, this is a classic case for better judgement in how we use certain words. Certain words just cannot be used alongside others and this probably calls for a deeper knowledge of their nuances and wider exposure to how those words are used in proper contexts.

Well, to be fair, if I were asked to use the logographic Chinese words to form sentences, I'll probably end up being incontinent as well.

Where's the toilet?!

Trespassers Beware

In the vicinity of my house, there is an army camp. When I was young, I often wondered to myself what would happen if someone would sneak into the area.

Then I saw the BIG RED SIGN and quite naturally, being young and impressionable, I would be moved to believe the semiotics rather than to read the fine print.

As we see from above, anyone who is a trespasser would likely be shot.

I was caught up with my aversion towards army camps from then on.

Then I grew up, as we all do.

And we learn to read the fine print (small fonts).

And it wasn't so scary after all. Cos all it said was that unauthorised persons could not enter. Phew.

And then I grew up some more, as all of us did, and I came to the university.

And then childhood trauma strikes once again...

Seen in NUS.

"Offenders will be shushed!"

Thankfully noisy people will not shot. Phew again.

Curiously, I wondered to myself why "shushed" was used in place of the more common "hushed" (more common at least in Singapore)?

And, why wasn't "Quieted" used instead? I thought that "shushed" was an informal word. As it turns out, I was not really correct since "Shush" can be used formally but only as an interjection, either verbal or adjectival.

Also, I was wondering why the sign-creators did not use other alternative phrasal forms like:

"Keep Your Volume Down"

"Silence is Golden"

"No Talking"

?

Perhaps the intent is to lessen the stressful studying culture of a university, hence the playful spin on an austere military sign, both semiotically and linguistically.

Shush!

It's Complicated

Social Networking sites like Fakebook, Facebook, allow for a relationship status.

Anyway, I'm not particularly interested in what others have it going on for them, cos we all know that most people are either just faking it, or seeking some attention.

So what if that girl is suddenly "in a relationship", or that guy is now "single"?

Do i care? No.

I think one of the most interesting status that functions as a rubbish bin, just like the Adverb categorial word class, is the "It's Complicated" status.

Seriously, what does that tell you? Nothing, really.

It could be any of the following (and more):

- fear of being called single, or to let others know s/he is attached
- holding on to something that's about to end

- still hoping to work things out
- in denial stage of separation

- someone cheating on his/her partner and is not that bothered about it

- a relationship status that does not fit into the status quo

Interestingly, this has crept into the lexicon (mental & verbal) of many internet users the world over. Anyone with a facebook account in Greece may adopt the lexical choice and conceptual relationship anonymity as someone in Geylang.

Ah, the wonders of the web and globalisation: everyone is equalised.

As with how many lexical items seep into the English language due to technological leverage, lexico-grammatical constructs like "It's complicated" have begun to take root in everyday parlance.

Just the other day, I was the unfortunate overhearer of some inane gossipy conversation that went along the lines of:

A: "aiyah, they no more together liao lah."

B: "sure meh? But I thought others say still have?."

A: "hmm, maybe not updated loh their info."

B: "But seems like have leh. I thought I saw them."

A: "Maybe now they are 'It's Complicated' loh. Haha."

Me: (silently rolling my eyes)

And the following comic is a pictorial case for uncommitted relationships, showing how this phrase has caught on in every-day speak:

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/couple.png

Once Broken

The sign shown above should be familiar to perhaps some Singaporeans in its other more familiar permutation:

"Once broken, considered sold"

In what appears to be a playful version of a warning, we now have a poem (of sorts). Though I have no idea what the writer of this poem intended to signify with the literary treatment, its effect upon me was such that it made me chuckle.

In a world where money rules, capitalism teaches us that most relationships formed between strangers are monetary or commercial ones. Consider the world of merchandising and sales, these relations last for all of the short 5 minutes of a sales transaction. So yes, the comings and goings in a shop makes for little time to afford any lightheartedness. Coupled with the infamously snooty attitude of Singaporean sales staff, we are often pretty tired out by sales assistants and just want to get it (the buying process) over and done with.

As such, this sign was a deft touch in an attempt to make a drab and dire warning something of an art form, and a literary one at that. (try saying it out.)

Perhaps it's the linguist in me that was drawn to the use of such a 4-liner, but the technical poet in me, albeit a very amateurish one, came to the fore.

I couldn't help but notice that the first 3 lines consist of this particular metrical feet structure: H - L - H

Nice (H) to (L) see (H)

Good (H) to (L) hold (H)

Once (H) bro- (L) -ken (H)

, and of course, the last line was a form of 4-syllabic concluding line of a 4-line poem. I tried saying it out aloud, and hey, there's a singing ring and particularly interesting rhythmic flow to it.

And so we have a warning that sings itself and its effect upon us could be seen in 2 ways:

1) hey, this is a warning, but fear not, you can still handle the items, just be careful!

2) we are fun people and this sign says it all.

What struck me as also particularly interesting was how there was a use of the verb "hold" rather than "handle". In my opinion, if I were to write a similar warning to prospective butter-fingers, I would try to reflect all possibilities that one could do with his/her hands. In my mind then, "holding" alone isn't really all that I would do in a watch shop. I would want to fiddle with the dials, test the stopwatch, hear the alarm chimes/signals, and feel the tactile effect of the buttons - I would want to do more than "hold" the item, I would want to "handle" the metal hardware. Oh yeah.

But then, I thought that I was thinking too far. Anyway, most people would get it immediately. And I am very much a part of the masses as well. So yes, I do accept that "good to hold" is fine as well, although that niggling bit of me that wondered whether other English speakers would have such phrasal constructions.

Ok. Enough ramblings.

Well, it did help that the shop assistant was really friendly, causing me to part with my money. Boohoo.